There have been numerous reports as to the whereabouts of one, Vladimir Putin.
I one were to string all the rumours together you'd get the following story behind his absence,
Vlad went off to Switzerland to visit his mistress who is in the process, it is said, of delivering another little Vlad into the world. While waiting he went for a walkabout to Ukraine but just after his arrival he was struck by the over-sixties disease, a condition viewed by those under thirty as terminal, seriously terminal. On hearing this a coup was plotted and executed by those who didn't approve of Vlad's handling of Ukraine. His ETA back in Russia is unknown but the place is in a state of chaos as nobody else can handle Russia.
